Wednesday, March 08, 2006

It sucks to be meeeee...

i pissed out another stone last night. hoo-fucking-ray.

all together now, Avenue Q style - it sucks to be meeeeeeeeeeeeee....

i still owe y'all some post-op stuff. well, let's say it's just draining. i mean, i didn't even get cut open, and it wasn't until today - a week later - where i made it through an entire day of work. it sucks.

you never really value your health until it's gone.

damn, i want to be healthy again. that means changing my eatting habits. i'm only a tad overweight, my blood sugar and cholesterol are fine, all that is good. but salt, apparently, give me stones. and as you know if you've been reading, i'm not digging this whole kidney stone thing.

so, it's a lifestyle change for me. any of you know any good, low-sodium food, PLEASE, for the love of god, let me know. PLEASE!!! i don't wanna be stuck eatting lettuce and carrots the rest of my life....

Friday, March 03, 2006

Everybody must get stoned...

if you're just now starting my blog, you missed a lot.

in a nutshell, i've got kidney stones. had my first attack about 3 years ago, and i thought i was going to die. honestly. my gut felt like it was exploding, and i had no idea what was wrong. i ended up going to the ER, they told me i had kidney stones, and a few days later, with much trepidation, fear, and Tylenol-3 (acetaminophen with codeine), i passed two stones at once.

flash back to this past summer, and BAM, hit again, although the pain in my gut was much less severe, to the point it took me a few days to realize i was having another kidney stone attack. i passed a few more stones in the following week, and that was that.

until about 2 weeks ago, when i passed another stone. and then, last week, another - both of these with the help of Tylenol-4 (acetaminophen with EVEN MORE codeine).

it was time to do something about it, and yesterday i had extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy to break up this motherfucker of a large stone (larger than any of the 7 or 8 i've already passed) in my right kidney.



that's pretty much what they did to me, although the waves broke up the stone while still in my kidney (ya know, the thing that looks like a kidney BEAN in that image), and my knees were raised with a pillow-like thing, almost like i was giving birth.

at one point, the technician squirted water on my side just before i passed out, and said "water. that was water. i don't want you thinking it was something weird or something," which provided me with a good laugh until the anesthesia took hold, and i went out like a light.

the pre-op sucked. my procedure was at 2:30 pm on Thursday. Wednesday night, i could have no solid food after 5 pm. no liquids, including water *and* caffeine, after midnight. which meant, the day of my procedure, i'd be dehydrated, *and* cranky.

and of course, all of that on top of having to drink a 10 oz bottle of Magnesium Citrate, which, basically, is laxative to, err, clean one out prior to a medical procedure...

later, some of the post-op, including why the nurse's comment of "it'll be perfectly normal for your urine to look like Cherry Kool-Aid for a few days" wasn't *exactly* right...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Words do not describe..

...how much kidney stones suck ass.

tomorrow, hopefully, i will get the rest of them zapped out of me. i've only passed, what, 7 in the last 5 months?!?!

fuck kidney stones, and the salt they rode in on...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Let Them Eat Cake...

ok...i write too much random shit all the time without actually saving it anywhere...maybe here? maybe now??!?!

Driving down the road in my ’57 ‘Stang
I squash a toad and my teeth grit
As I spit out the bad taste in my mouth
Left behind from shit I had for lunch
A lot of grease burger that was so bad
I had to guzzle it down with a beer
And eat a piece of cake that was baked
At a nearby place that makes desserts
That are the motherfucking BOMB!


take that!!!!